{"id":643,"date":"2016-09-21T17:06:50","date_gmt":"2016-09-21T17:06:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/new.eklutheran.ca\/?page_id=643"},"modified":"2020-03-26T11:40:39","modified_gmt":"2020-03-26T17:40:39","slug":"grief-course-3","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/eklutheran.ca\/?page_id=643","title":{"rendered":"Grief Course 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

Losses We Never Considered<\/u><\/span><\/h3>\n

Welcome back –\u00a0let us pray together:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Lord, here we are again, seeking your guidance for our lives.\u00a0 Speak to us and enable us\u00a0to hear you.\u00a0 Quiet our hearts and minds so that we can absorb your message.\u00a0 Amen<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Today we look at “Threatened Loss”: It\u2019s one of the hardest losses.\u00a0 <\/strong>
\nTheir possibility is ever present.\u00a0 Your sense of control is destroyed.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Example:<\/strong>
\n– You\u2019ve worked for 19 years at the same company.\u00a0 At 20 years, all your benefits are secure.\u00a0 Then due to the economy, 40% lay-offs are announced.
\nWill you be one of the 40%?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

– There are many other threatened losses in life:<\/strong>
\n. . . awaiting the outcome of a biopsy from the medical clinic.
\n. . . a spouse saying, \u201cI\u2019m thinking of divorcing you.\u201d
\n. . . a business investment which may not come through.
\n. . . being sued by an angry employee or customer.
\n. . . being in a foreign country and being kidnapped.
\n. . . a friend tells you they suspect your child\/teen is using drugs.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

There is little you can do about these potential losses.\u00a0 They could occur.\u00a0 You feel helpless.
\nWe will get back to this subject.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>
\nFurther major\u00a0VARIATIONS OF LOSS are<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Material Loss: <\/u><\/strong>
\n<\/u><\/strong>– You cannot find a physical object \u201cI cannot find my . . .\u201d <\/strong>
\n– Familiar surroundings disappear by means of\u00a0floods, mud slides, storms, earth quakes.
\n– How about losing your belongings in a house fire?
\n– How does\u00a0a break-in in your house affect you?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Relationship Loss:<\/u><\/strong>
\nThis loss can come from
\n– a move to another part of your town,\u00a0another city, another country.
\n– a divorce, a death or
\n– just growing up, or growing apart. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Intra-psychic Loss:<\/u><\/strong>
\n– The way you view yourself changes, you might lose confidence in yourself.
\nIt could involve\u00a0changing plans or giving up a long-time dream.
\n– Someone might lose courage, faith or hope.
\n– An expectation of what might have been but which does not materialize is seen as a loss:
\nWhat if you had taken the other job offer, had married another person.
\nWhat if . . .<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Functional Loss: <\/u><\/strong>
\n<\/u><\/strong>– Muscular or neurological function of our body.\u00a0 <\/strong>
\n– Aging with all its aches and pains!
\n– Memory losses can be devastating.\u00a0 Loss of autonomy.
\n– The \u201cI can manage\u201d capability diminishes and you try to adjust.
\n– Some are overwhelming like losing a breast, a limb, an eye.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Role Loss\/Identity Loss:<\/u><\/strong>
\nDue to life\u2019s changes you lose your place in some social network.
\n– Being promoted or\u00a0demoted, loss of a spouse or\u00a0change of career, no longer a student but\u00a0now an adult
\n– Retirement \u2026 Think of life as a theatre production, and you have a certain role.\u00a0 If that role is taken away from you, you are literally left without a part to play, and may indeed not know \u2018the lines\u2019. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Systemic Loss: <\/u><\/strong>
\n<\/u><\/strong>It occurs usually when a person leaves a group and that upsets the balance of the system. <\/strong>
\n– A jovial co-worker who is no longer there and no longer shares cheerfulness and humor.
\n– A child leaving home, off to college, leaving the family circle.\u00a0 \u201cFamily life will never be the same\u201d.\u00a0 We might be intellectually prepared but often not emotionally.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Ambiguous Loss:<\/u><\/strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>
\n1.\u00a0People are perceived by family members as physically absent but psychologically present<\/u>, because it is unclear whether they are dead or alive.\u00a0 Missing soldiers, kidnapped or run-away\u00a0children illustrate this type of loss in its worst form.
\nor
\n2.\u00a0 A person is perceived as physically present but psychologically absent<\/u>.\u00a0 This condition is illustrated in the extreme by people with Alzheimer\u2019s disease, addictions, and other chronic mental illnesses.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Of all Personal Relationship Losses, ambiguous loss is the most devastating because it remains unclear.\u00a0 Perceiving loved ones as present when they are gone, or gone when they are present, can make people feel helpless and thus more prone to depression, anxiety, and relationship conflicts.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because this loss is confusing, people are baffled and immobilized.\u00a0 They cannot problem-solve because they do not yet know whether the problem (the loss) is final or temporary.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The majority of losses we experience are difficult to grieve over.\u00a0 Why? Because they\u2019re usually not accepted as a loss, there is usually no funeral, no condolence card, no \u2018casserole parade\u2019.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

We have just taken a closer look at losses we gradually go thru in\u00a0life as we\u00a0age.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>
\n Let\u2019s now look at a new way of walking with God.<\/strong>
\n<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>
\nLET US EXAMINE OUR HUMAN POSITION FROM SCRIPTURE:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground,<\/strong><\/span>
\n (Genesis 2:7), . . . \u201cBy the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.\u201d (Genesis 3:19)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

LIKE THE WHOLE EARTH, WE ARE TEMPORARY,<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c. . . Do not worry about your life, . . .Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.\u00a0 Are you not much more valuable then they?\u00a0 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?\u201d (Matthew 6:25ff)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

WE ARE FRAGILE,<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

We are fragile, \u201cjars of clay\u201d(2 Corinthians 4:7-9), \u201cWe are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; hunted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.\u201d <\/strong>
\n\u201cWe do not lose heart.\u00a0 Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.\u00a0 We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.\u00a0 For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.\u201d\u00a0 (2 Corinthians 4:16,18)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

LIFE ON EARTH IS FRAGILE,<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat then shall we say in response to this (life, losses)?\u00a0 If God is for us, who can be against us?\u201d (Romans 8:31)<\/strong>
\n\u201cFor I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God\u2019s love.\u00a0 Death can\u2019t, and life can\u2019t.\u00a0 The angels can\u2019t, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God\u2019s love away.\u00a0 Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are – nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when He died for us.\u201d\u00a0 (Romans 8:38-39, paraphrased)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

HANDLE WITH TENDER LOVING CARE !\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

As we count our losses, we\u00a0realise\u00a0our blessings:<\/span><\/strong>
\nLoss can strengthen our faith.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n